Let me start with brutal honesty. In this world, you are alone. It’s just you, with yourself, and your thoughts. No one is going to do things for you. So it’s better to make peace with that soon.

People might object to me by saying, what about family? What about friends? What about the people we call “Mine”? Well, are those exact people going to wipe your tears when you’re stressing out by yourself? Or are those people going to clean up the mess you made? Clearly, no. Not all friends are forever. Likewise, not all the people you call “yours” at the moment are forever. To an extent, even family narrows down.

It’s natural for people and things to leave. It’s a basic human cycle. Coming and going. Get used to it, whether you like it or not.

Fitting into a new place gives you so many answers to your spiraling questions about life. Of course, when moving, you know who your real friends are and who is worthy of giving a damn about. But, it’s while settling into the new place you realize, who’s decent enough to accompany you to the class every day, and who’s to give you a smile across the room. Do you get me? It’s called judging people by their first impressions as you move in.

Don’t get me wrong; judging is usual. It’s good, as long as it doesn’t get too extensive. Don’t judge someone that much, that it occupies the room for those people to justify themselves. You find a person too loud and self-centered, but maybe they have another side you might like. Maybe someone’s just too introverted for your liking, but if you look deeper, they can be crazy around you if you, you know, create that environment.

But we all know this is a saint-talk. We humans could never be so generous when it comes to understanding others. Well, some can be, but in my generation. Nope. People now, basically you and I, judge solely based on looks—just appearances. So if a girl is an average height, tiny waist, pretty face, good hair, she’s sorted. If not, well, she’s stuck with people like me, which means the second choice. I can’t say much about the male dynamics of this situation, but I’m pretty sure this is how it goes with girls.

It’s not just the looks, but every small detail. Their origin, the way they talk, the way they sit, look, walk. It’s an endless list. In short, it’s going to be hard to fit in. It’s like leaving the perfect life you shaped to chase a new one, hoping it’ll make you feel better than you already are, but then when the reality hits, you know, that you’re back to square one. So you got to rebuild that life you crave and climb back up to the hierarchy of people.

Yes, it sure is a hustle, but someone experienced and honest once said that ego comes in when we impress someone. When we are impressed by someone, inferiority comes in. So, let’s be ourselves and focus only on ourselves.

With that, I’d like to say it’s okay to feel “unfit” for a place because everything is just a phase. It always passes. And as it progresses, you become a different person because experiences continually shape you into someone new. I know this wasn’t needed, but it had to be out there. So all those hurting and struggling to fit in should know that they’re not alone. With all the academic stress and looking “good” all the time, know you can’t always be the prettiest in the room, but you sure can be the highest and kindest.

Thank you.